The Sarcastic Salarian (Aphin Protretho)

Aphin Protretho, Intergalactic Badass.

Aphin Protretho
Late 30's
Retired (Previously Mercenary, Soldier, STG Agent, Bartender, Head of Occulus
Unknown (Previously Citadel)
Marital Status
Unknown (Previously Single)
STG, Occulus
Character Status

This article describes the salarian who first used this handle. For the player who uses it now, see Emon Spiza.

Age: Unknown (estimated late 30s)

One of the first posters from the old CDN site, Aphin Protretho was one of CDN's more prolific, outspoken, and "adventurous" members. A salarian with ties to C-SEC, the Special Tasks Group, the Alliance Military, the show Dynasty Maker, and the secret organization known only as "Occulus," Aphin Protretho retired from the boards before after the Reaper War to pursue what he called a "well-earned vacation."

Aphin was also instrumental in the long-forgotten QOROQ scandal (see Who Goes There? and Who Goes There 2), which he is reported as having a "significant role" in, as well as several other minor STG-related operations. His location is unknown at this time. He was the founder of Aphin's Place, a stately, muted bar on the Citadel with an aquatic theme. Counters hold aquariums for fish from several garden planets, particularly from Mannovai and Solregit, and the back wall features a screen that usually plays videos of oceans from across the galaxy.


Was a fan of the film character "Infiltrator".

The makers of those films seem to return the appreciation, as Infiltrator: REBORN, a post-Reaper War production featuring the character, is said to be partly based on Aphin's biography.

Threads of Interest

The Sarcastic Salarian's guide to eating on the Citadel.: A discussion of places to eat on the Citadel, the reason why Zoftan will not eat at the restaurant run by Quizic, and the organization of a party to celebrate Mirqurios not being dead.

Oh, Shrell: Hok Ginnde is now Aphin's partner. Aphin deals with this by becoming a drill sergeant and "training" Hok mercilessly. Training continues here, as Harrad Illum winds up controlling a C-Sec drone, and talk turns to the possibility of biotic grizzly bears.

Hok's Training, Part Dos: The moulding of a better C-Sec officer continues.

I Hate Hospitals: Aphin complains from hospital; he also discusses the recent investigations of CUTE YOUNG FELINE MAMMAL with the mysterious-cat-thing itself. Talk later turns to the issue of the biotic grizzly, which is now supposedly a reality (though the popular explanation is that it's a guy in a suit).

Information for Kittens: The cat's monitoring of the main Mass Effect plot continues.

Quizic's: Aphin and Brandis discusses the recent case of the Guardians of True Humanity.

I Just Wanted To Tell You Guys How Proud I Am Of Hok

Hok's Training, Part Three: Aphin and Hok investigate a case wherein C-sec officers have apparently been caught beating salarian suspects. Aphin quits the force.

Protretho and Ginnde: Private Investigation: The partners have their own advert.

Hok, TSS, Quint: The duo and the Big Quint flee before bounty hunters.

Looks like the agency of Protetho & Ginnde is on hold: Their old superiors in C-Sec politely suggest that they leave the Citadel. It's mercenary time!

TSS, Hok, Quint, etc. I want to give you credits: "So here's my proposition. Some humans shot up my daughter, Cynira. I would like to know who they are, and where they are, so I can murder them." Leading to...

Fish Vs. Squid, Round 1 - FIGHT!: On Omega, Aphin meets with Penumbra. He also meets Abattoir in person for the first time. As discussed last time, Penumbra wants them to try and find who put out a hit on her.

The Violet Vorcha: Aphin and Hok meet up with Goronak nabKohor when they take a trip to Omega, and specifically a dive called The Violet Vorcha. Aphin gets absolutely shit-faced and has to be carted to the clinic of Dr. Hass Ledoff.

Meanwhile, on the Nialla C-deck: A "food emergency."

Dynasty Maker:

  • Before starring on Dynasty Maker, Aphin is required to audition for a spot as a contestant. As the auditions are only 25 seconds long, he has to make it count – and as he’s aiming to sabotage it, he has to maintain a cover for it. Thus, Hok Ginnde, Hass Ledoff and Illara’Tam dream up a new persona for him adopt: Aphinjandro LeChunga, suave, flamboyant flamenco dancer and "terror of the Udrusga badlands."
  • Armed with his new persona (and a spicy dance to boot) Aphin...jandro attempts to impress the judges at Galaxy One enough to join the show. This thread also debuts his biggest hurdle to success: Pulsar, a young, arrogant bewigged shrew of a salarian who manages to even get under Aphin...jandro’s skin.
  • The Wizard: Having made it through the first Elimination, Aphin and crew must now confront their second challenge: beating the crowd at a video game debuting on the show. Oh, and did we by chance mention that Aphin got his childhood ass kicked by the man whose company developed the game?
  • The Rise and Possible Fall of Aphinjandro: Now alerted to Producer Sokata Len’s knowledge of their... unorthodox methods of winning, Team Sarcastic must endure the next challenge without cheating... by any detectable means, anyway. Luckily for them, the next challenge – a very physical one – is right up his alley. The fourth, however? The fourth may be the one that finally does him in.
  • Make a Bow: It all comes down to this. This sarcastic salarian has endured trials of salsa, spice, cyberware, scrapping and science...But can he complete the final trial? Can he beat…The DARK ABRAM TRAINING GROUND?

I don't think this P.I. thing is working out: Time to head back to the Citadel?

Aliens Can Party Too!: A CDN Christmas party at Fadil Mahd's place! Aphin winds up stuck in a wall.

ALL THESE OTHER INSTRUCTORS ARE INCOMPENTENT BOOBS: Is Aphin the only one at C-Sec who understands how things are supposed to work?

Oh Shrell. I am in deeeeeep trouble: Aphin has an admirer - one of the cadets attending his C-Sec classes. What is he to do?

Drinking Contest results: A draw: Julmoth reports the aftermath of his and Aphin's competition.

Who Goes There?:

One on the House: Aphin is approached to be a judge in the second season of Dynasty Maker.

Who Goes There 2:

  • Buying In: Aphin brings in a few people to talk about certain events.
  • Quiet Before the Storm: Aphin lays out the details to the first batch of Investigators, and splits the team into three groups.
  • The Scorpius Nebulae: Game rules are laid out, and Aphin takes his team back to Yomi in an attempt to find out what happened.
  • The Debrief: The long-awaited session following the first trio of missions, and an introduction to QoroQ.
  • Out In the Cold: The hunt takes them to Noveria, where all games end in tragedy.
  • Okay, I’m Back: Aphin finally broadcasts his return... and learns of a certain broker.
  • Drinking for One: Aphin curls around a bottle, only to find out that absolutely NO ONE will leave him alone.

Permafrost: Catching up with Spiza, now that both the Qoroq issue and Dynasty Maker season 2 are concluded.

So apparently lawyers are useless, now: And... Aphin is gone.

Trade Off: A meeting with Dr. Fell, to help deal with this Reaper problem the galaxy is now facing.

It's Getting Harder To Post Here: Retirement isn't all it should be now that the Reapers are invading.

Patterns: Jeral brings his concerns about the Occulus 12 issue to Aphin's attention.

Well, It's About Damn Time: Aphin and Spiza face the Cerberus Coup.

Retirement: For real this time.


How We Do Things Here: Involves Spiza and Martello making a not-memorial to Aphin.

Legacy: Aphin's nephew Aphin Ambarto finally clears out "the last of them".

Asari Vendetta: Said nephew is not pleased when old associates of his uncle show up on the site with a crazy situation, and he makes it quite clear what he thinks of Aphin Protretho's legacy.